Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
