I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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