3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize