we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
