I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
