I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize