You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
