big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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