Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
