We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
