highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
