38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize