He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
