also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
