party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize