VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
