Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
