Can i not drive my cunt home
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
