You're so nebulous sometimes
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
