i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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