He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
