she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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