just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
my liver is dry heaving
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
