We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
