could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
