There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
