I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize