he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize