Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
