I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
