Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
