it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
