Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize