Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
