i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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