If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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