Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
