I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
why is half of my head shaved?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
