Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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