I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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