Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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