Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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