Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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