See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
