I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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