Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
