the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
