it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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