Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
