Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
