Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
