perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my shit smells like andre
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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