I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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