i need an iv and a liver transplant
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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