Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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