you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
