i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
