I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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