I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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