i was born a porn star she said
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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