party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
