Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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