my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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